An 8-year-old girl sits alone on the swingset at recess, looking down at what you’ve just thrown at her. Her tears hit the rocks, they hit the swing, they hit papers now fluttering by the her that say 1-800- Jenny (aka Jenny Craig). At 8, she’s already sensitive to her height (she’s the tallest kid in class), and her weight. At 8. No child should be worried about being teased about this. And why should you care to point this out, you’re only 8 too? This was a girl you once played with. She came to your birthday party. Why the change? Why are you mean to her now?

If you had the chance to apologize to someone you were mean to would you take it? Or would you want a bully to reach out to acknowledge their wrong-doings to you?

20 years.

20 years ago I was a real jerk. I was the girl that threw the papers. I went home the day before to type it up. A few days before that, I hatched the planned with a couple other mean 8-year olds. Weeks before I probably realized the fact that it was a bully or be-bullied world; not recognizing that their are indeed, more than those two options.

For the past 10-12 years (thanks social media) I’ve tried to looked that little 8-year-old girl up. To make sure she’s doing ok. To apologize for that day…and for so many other times. To let her know that I AM NOT A MEAN GIRL ANYMORE. Her hurt resonated with me so much, that because of her, I have vowed to never be mean to another person. To never treat anyone as less than. To be kind, and a friend to all. (Sorry that I’m also a little shy, so that comes off as mean at first!) I haven’t been able to find her, until today.

Today I googled it all. Her name. Her name plus her oooooold dog’s name (pretty sure her dog still isn’t alive). Her name plus her dad’s job. Her name plus…. everything. TODAY HER SISTER’S NAME popped up in my head! 20 years.

After a lot of stalking; I found her. And I’ve practice my note to her so many times…. but now I can send it and I find myself wondering: Is this for her, or is this for me?

Will this open up hurt that she’s over? Will it be cathartic for her that her pain has been acknowledged? Will she even care?

The note has been written. Tonight I pray over it. Tomorrow… I send it?


She Reads Truth | Matthew 17 & 18


Do you ever read the Bible and think that the disciples were scaredy-cats or just plain dumb? I do. LOL. But then when I re-read and really think about how I would react, I realize that’s probably exactly how I would react! Ummm yes, if I was hiking and a bright, cloud started talking to me, NO MATTER WHAT IT SAID, I would be freaking out in fear/ confusion. FREAKING OUT. But also, how sweet to have the comfort of Jesus saying to not have fear and to get up. I just imagine being pee-your-pants afraid, and at the sound of his voice just being enveloped in warmth, and safety. I have to remember this (a lot) when I’m nervous- and you know what? Sometimes I actually feel the warmth.

Also when you think of the disciples, it’s like… they had a lot of faith (AND got to witness the signs of Christ… so I mean, they should have been ballin’ in the trusting the Lord department). They were doing a lot in the name of the Lord. A lot. BUT yet still, their faith wasn’t the comparable to the mustard seed. DANG. What’s mine comparable to? Like a speck of sand?

When I read the stories of Jesus, I’m encouraged that we, truly are made in the image of God. And also the freedom that THERE IS NO WAY WE WILL EVER BE GOD. We may have the mercy capacity to forgive a friend, a co-worker, a sibling 7 times for the same grievance, but 77? Oh no way- there is no way. I can’t do 77 without the Spirit. I can’t move mountains without God. I can’t get to heaven without Jesus.

As much as a control freak as I can be, there is such peace knowing that God’s love and unending forgiveness is free- and because of  this I am no longer a slave to the “can’ts” in life.

Also, if you haven’t checked out She Reads Truth… do it. Such a great resource.




guys, aunt life is the best life. for real.

I never, ever thought I would say this or feel this way, but these two boys are my heart- I’ve never prayed more for two humans in my life. For them to love God, to never know a life apart from the grace of Jesus… that they’re motivated, healthy, smart, funny, seen, loved and loving, … I pray for their present, for their future, for any hurt they ever experience to be given to the Lord. Ugh, these two.

And honestly, as obsessed as I am: children are exhausting. As much as I love them, hanging out with them reeeeealllly wears a person out. THEY HAVE SO MUCH ENERGY. THEY MOVE SO MUCH. How do parents do this 24/7? TRUE HEROS.

That’s probably the best part of aunt life. 😉 I can go home; reenergize and come back when I want to. (#selfishbuthappy) It’s been such a gift from God to be an aunt. He knows my hurt from not being at a place in life to have a child of my own, so He’s given me so many opportunities to love on the kids in my life.


What a blessing it is to see these two crazies grow up. I don’t love that they’re going to grow up in different states/ countries, but that’s only because I want them to both be near me always and forever. ❤

is it 2019 yet?


These last few weeks I’ve found it so difficult to want to journal. Each time I do I reread what was written and just feel so gross. It’s, like, get over your pity party girl.

The past few weeks have not been kind to my body. I went to Florida on the 19th of December, where I succumbed to bronchitis (luckily I got a few good fun days in with the nephew and fam before the body aches hit). Right after bronchitis I got the flu and intense sinus pressure. Flying back home with that sinus pressure was a real treat (note the hard sarcasm). It’s been almost 2 weeks home, and my ears and head pressure still haven’t popped. My hearing is off, and the headaches are constant.

I HATE COMPLAINING, but I’m the biggest baby when I’m sick, and I’m just so ready to kick whatever is lingering and finally celebrate being in the new year.

If there’s one big thing I’ve learned coming out of this funk, it’s social media LIES. When my friends/ coworkers saw me after the holidays they all thought I had a great break because I only posted photos that illustrated happiness and life. In person, I was a hot-mess (minus the hot… just a mess). On Christmas I posted a photo of a wreath that I had taken weeks before… because in reality on Christmas I was alone (my fam went to Disney World… don’t go to Disney World on Christmas Day). I guess I wasn’t alone on Christmas- I had Dayquil, throat lozenges, chloraseptic spray, Friends, and so many tissues (so many tissues) to keep me company.

I posted pics of our family photo session where I’m smiling like a fool… you think I’m happy? Oh no… my poor family had to be near my grumpy, oozing self. I kept reminding them how sick I was and how appreciative they should be that I even tried. How annoying! But social media doesn’t tell you that.

My social media doesn’t tell you that my gas tank light is on, or that I overslept (again), or that ‘candid photo’ is 1/10(or 100) on my camera roll..

And you know what? I think that’s ok. I think it’s ok that I’m only putting pretty pictures on my feed. I think it’s ok to share only the good with acquaintances, strangers, and friends. I think it’s ok as long as we remember that this is what everyone is doing. To not compare our fake versions of perfection with someone else’s. And to be REAL (like reveal your heart and soul real) with your kindred-spirit type friends.

I think it’s ok to share the perfect and beautiful on social media (because sometimes life really is that picturesque), only if we’re willing to share the ugly and real with people in real life (and hey, maybe throw a #reallife post in your social media too).

So I’m not really into making resolutions, but my intention this year is to be more real while writing, and being ok with it not sounding like I’m living my most Instagrammable life. 😉

(also to get better- goodbye sore throats, goodbye ear/head pressure, goodbye snotty nose, goodbye weak cough…please never come back.)

She Reads Truth| Advent


(sometimes quiet time is much, much easier when there’s a cozy space and no one around…)

Advent 2017: Joy to the World: Day 10

“But now the righteousness of God has been manifested apart from the law, although the Law and the Prophets bear witness to it— the righteousness of God through faith in Jesus Christ for all who believe. For there is no distinction: for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, and are justified by his grace as a gift, through the redemption that is in Christ Jesus, whom God put forward as a propitiation by his blood, to be received by faith. This was to show God’s righteousness, because in his divine forbearance he had passed over former sins. It was to show his righteousness at the present time, so that he might be just and the justifier of the one who has faith in Jesus.

Then what becomes of our boasting? It is excluded. By what kind of law? By a law of works? No, but by the law of faith. For we hold that one is justified by faith apart from works of the law.” -Romans 3:21-28

God is so good (I feel like I begin all my quiet time saying this). We ALL are the worst and have sinned. Daily we receive His “grace upon grace.” I can’t explain, how freeing this is. I know so many unbelievers who think Christianity is just a bunch of rules and oppression. AHHHH, how do I scream with love and tell them that there is freedom in His sacrifice! He lived a perfect life so we don’t have to! Each and every time we fail, He is there to cover us in His blood. And what do we have to do for this forgiveness and love?


It’s the best gift ever. His grace and His righteousness are sweet, precious gifts; that we do not deserve, but are abundantly given. ❤

Ugh, now comes the difficult part- we can’t boast in ourselves or our works. It’s hard because I’m always looking for some way to look like I have my life together in an aesthetically pleasing way (even if my life is falling a part(ish)). That I’m living a life of lavish, instead of a life lavishly fulfilled by Christ. I can lie and say I’m boasting in Christ when I post something, but am I truly in awe in His glory and creativity? Or does it just look pretty and I need the envy or validation from others? Sometimes yes, sometimes no.

Today I was reminded to check myself before I post; and if I am boasting in myself or the Lord. I’m convicted to thank Him for His gift, the only gift ever needed. To praise Him and be filled with a crazy amount of joy that I WILL NEVER BE EXPECTED TO BE PERFECT! ❤ To stop comparing myself to others, because we’re all in the ‘we-stink-without-Christ boat’ together! Ugh, such a good reading today from She Reads Truth.


Baby Shower for Baby S


I know I’ve said it before, & I know I’ll say it again… but I LOVE THEMED PARTIES!

This past weekend we celebrated Baby S & Michel (…& I guess Mitch too) at Los Poblanos. Michel deserves the world, & I’m so glad her shower was at LP because it was perfect. We did an afternoon tea, which was out of this world delicious.

Meeting Michel’s friends was also so sweet. I’m such a friend hog/ small group person, that I didn’t really know a lot of her friends before this event… but I am so glad I got to love on Michel with her dearest friends at her shower. ❤ They are the nicest people.

Party planning can be a little stressful, but Michel’s shower was the least stress inducing event in the world (which is saying a lot, because I attract stress). Definitely in part because her friend, Kristin, was the perfect co-host, (she did all the flowers herself!) & also because LP does everything to make it relaxing. I just want everything, ever, to be held there forever. I don’t think lavender fields will ever lose their magic.


Little Baby S, you are so loved. I pray that you will be healthy, happy, kind, motivated, & love Jesus. Selfishly, I ask God that you love me too. ❤


p.s. these tassel balloons are SO easy to make, and inexpensive! literally the most difficult part is getting them all in your car. 4 fit in a small car, so plan accordingly. also it was windy & when I was taking them out of my car the wind blew them into my face so several lipstick marks made their way onto the balloons. wouldn’t be a liz event if something embarrassing didn’t happen. 😉