dear alien parasite baby,

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You’re a boy!

Your momma is the cutest, tallest pregnant woman. I’m so thankful you’re no longer making her super sick. She’s so excited for you to come out into this world! We all are.

We’re a little nervous how Taj the cat is going to react to you. He’s kind of crazy. I hope you love him.

I pray for you daily. I ask God to watch over you, to continue to bless you with health (and your family too). I talk to Jesus about my fears- this world is crazy kid. I’m nervous what kind of world you’ll grow up in. He calms me by reminding me how loved you are. You parents are awesome people. Your grandparents and aunt got your back too.

My prayer includes attributes I hope you have- I hope I can help instill. That you are kind. That you include others and stand up for those who need it. For you to have a healthy fear of the Lord, and serve Him. Hard-working is another quality I hope you have. That you don’t give up, and are constantly motivated. However I can help in this, let me know.

I love you, baby boy, regardless of whatever crazy name your parents come up with.

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there’s something therapeutic about the ocean

I’ve lived in three beach towns. I know, how lucky am I?

My favorite time to be at the beach (alone) is when it’s a little gloomy out, with some coffee. It’s just like so… perfect. There aren’t a lot of people there, it’s peaceful, and seemingly calm.  It brings me to a contemplative place. I do my best thinking here. I cry here. I pray here. I write here. I dream here. (yes I am that weird girl sitting by the beach on a cloudy day with her journal, crying. I’m ok with that.)

On this particular day, I just asked God to comfort me- to remind me of my purpose. That my relationships are not solely MY relationships, and are to be used for His glory.

I think cloudy days are essential in life. They’re days I can sit still and just feel all my feelings. Happy. Sad. Hurt. Thankful. Cloudy days are few and far between, but important.

You know what kind of days are also important? SUNNY SELFIE DAYS!

These are the days you want your people at the beach. They’re days of laughter, fun, and lots of chasing nephew games. Sunny days are also for heavy thinking, but a different sort. I think about how happy life is. I don’t feel hurt (except for those dang jellyfish!). Sunny days are for making happy memories. Sunny days are important.

 

Family

Families are weird.

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a photo from my search & find trip- everything looks happy doesn’t it.

I think if we were all honest, every family has their secrets. From the outside a family might look extremely put together, but get an insider’s perspective & every family has some -ish going on. Like you’re not going to Instagram your shit. Just the good stuff, right?

From childhood it’s been preached to me to keep family drama ONLY within the family. We just don’t talk about it with others. WHY!? why? WHY!? As soon as I opened up about my family’s struggles I have found SO much solidarity and support from friends. Friends who then feel like they can tell me what hurt they’ve been harboring too. It’s like therapy, but better, because these people love me, and love my family.

A loving mom, a supportive dad, the happiest childhood, college educated, I could go on forever and ever how #blessed I am, and from an outsider’s perspective they would never imagine the pain my family goes through each and every day.

My older sister has not talked to my family in a long time. My parents don’t even like to talk about it, they cry each time they do- but I know they feel like failures. Earlier this year my parent’s were so nervous that she wasn’t ok (and that my precious nephew) wasn’t ok as well, that they sent me to FL to check in. I messaged my sister, what seemed like 100 times, to tell her I was coming. No response. I was expected to fly to FL and just find her.

No pressure.

I went. She’s alive.

The trip went. Was it good? Not especially. Was it life-changing? Nope. My greatest hope for that whole trip was that she knows my family loves her and my nephew. I pray that she knows they’re loved and wanted.

Today let someone know if you’re hurting, also let someone know that they are loved and wanted.

 

 

GKTW

“Give Kids The World is a non-profit organization that exists only to fulfill the wishes of all children with life-threatening illnesses and their families from around the world to experience a memorable, joyful, cost-free visit to the Central Florida attractions, and to enjoy the magic of Give Kids The World Village for as long as there is a need.

Here, children and their families are treated to week long, cost-free fantasy vacations, complete with accommodations in whimsical villas, transportation, donated attraction tickets, meals, and much more.

At the Village, these children learn that dreams really do come true as they and their families are immersed in joy, love, and hope for a few unforgettably happy days.

Since 1986, Give Kids The World Village has hosted more than 140,000 families from all 50 states and 75 countries.” – Give Kids The World

One of my goals for 2017 was to volunteers at GKTW. The silver-lining to my search for my sister in Florida, was being able to volunteer here!

I can’t stress it enough- the people here are AMAZING. I’ve never felt more welcomed and invested in- AND I WAS JUST A VOLUNTEER! When I’ve sent families here, they come back saying it should be called Give Kids The UNIVERSE, and I totally agree. There is just something so magical about this place.

Also, I met the mayor. Mayor Clayton. AND I FREAKED OUT.

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Thanks Give Kids for making our kids and families royalty for a week!

464 Days At Work

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You know life is something when you straighten your hair and EVERYONE in the office thinks it must be picture day.

So to appease the office, and the hair, Danielle made it picture day in the office (for me). She even made me a cute sign that shares my likes and goals! #daniellesisabombdotcommom

It was also a celebration of over a year at Make-A-Wish! An inside joke of my nickname- it’s not Lucy. MY NAME IS NOT LUCY. Also, I don’t know if my favorite color is blue, but it was the answer I gave when asked (and I was on the phone with a family).

My fave tv show has been, is, and will always be: Survivor. I’m unashamedly a Hufflepuff. I will, and can’t wait to, do The Lord of the Rings tour in New Zealand (who’s down to do this trek with me?).

Also, when I grow up, I want to be the board chair for Make-A-Wish. Having a job here is the best, the very best, best, best. I love what I do. I love my coworkers. But I think if/when I have a family, I want to stay home with them and just volunteer a whole lot. So that’s my goal- board chair. ❤

 

dear alien parasite baby,

Jesus,

please be with Gayle & Patrick’s baby. help this baby grow into a healthy, healthy, healthy child of yours. sometimes with my job, i can get paranoid with health, and how that’s something that is so fragile and not in our hands. i pray that this child is the Chris Traeger of humans.

Lord, i pray that you place people in this child’s life to love them, and to guide them to You.

Father, i pray in challenging times that they know You are there, holding them. i ask you to protect them. there are so many times i look back at my life and am so thankful you were with me- that i have never been a part from you. i plead that this is true for this baby too.

i, selfishly, ask that this child likes me. i’m already so in love with this baby, and would really love if they loved me too.

Amen.

Meow Wolf

If you ever have a few hours to be fun & adventurous in Santa Fe- GO TO MEOW WOLF. (Meow Wolf is an art collective based in Santa Fe. Their ‘permanant’ art experience is called “The House of Eternal Return.” It’s an interactive, art experience, and a non-linear story.” (Throughout the ‘house’ you can try to solve a mystery of the family who use to live there!) There’s no wrong way to Meow Wolf.

O—M—G. This place is so weird & weird in the BEST possible way. I kept hearing about how cool it was, & seeing photos from everyone on Facebook/ Instagram just made me jealous. When Michel & I finally went I realized THE PHOTOS DO NOT DO IT JUSTICE. It’s intense.

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So many fun rooms/ stories/ things to look at (& touch!). Also, no one judges you for taking 1,000,000 photos (half of those selfies) there. I mean, photos or it didn’t happen. Right?

I’m already planning my next trip(s) out there. Definitely taking my little nephew to it!