After my car went on a week-long journey to wherever, it is back. I do not wish this stress on anyone. The thieves get away and I get to pay for all the damages they’ve caused (still less expensive than a new car!).
What’s sweet though, is last night as we were waiting on a few car repairs to take place, my sister prayed. She prayed for the person(s) who stole my car. That people would come into their lives to be the light. It was a prayer for their well-being and for them to repent too. I’ve forgiven them, but forgiveness does not mean that there aren’t consequences to sin. There are and there should be. As much as I forgive them, I also, would like to know that they recognize how much hurt they caused.
Anyway here are a few ways to help a friend who has had their car stolen OR damaged:
- Offering rides is nice, but sometimes people don’t want to inconvenience their friends (even if this means paying extra for an Uber). So instead of saying, ‘let me know if you need a ride,’ ask, ‘what time should I pick you up tomorrow to take you to work/ the store/ ect?’ This isn’t asking, it’s basically telling them that you’re coming. What time would they like you to come over?
- Check their social media before asking questions- chances are they’ve posted the story there and don’t want to repeat it over and over and over and over. Constant texts can be overwhelming. Remember, you’re probably not the only one trying to contact them. (But DO text them that you’re thinking of them/keeping an eye out/ praying/ sending good thoughts/ ect…)
- Share whatever post they’ve posted about their stolen car. Maybe you live states away. Maybe you only have 5 friends. It still means the world.
- Find out what was stolen from the car and, if reasonable, buy them a replacement. I had a box of La Croix in my car… that the mean thief (thieves) drank. My friend bought me another box. The little things mean a lot.
- Don’t re-victimize them. Yes I know I should have made sure all four doors of my car were locked. I don’t need the reminder. Yes I shouldn’t have left my favorite new vest in the car. Yes I probably should have bought a steering wheel club years ago. Yes the crime in downtown ABQ is terrible, how dare I live here. BUT ALSO PEOPLE SHOULDN’T STEAL! I should be able to leave all my doors unlocked (I didn’t) and all my valuables in the car (I don’t) AND PEOPLE SHOULDN’T STEAL! I already have to pay for all the Ubers, any damages the person(s) caused, the towing, the everything which is a lot. That’s already punishing the victim again and again. I don’t need a lesson from friends right now- I got that from myself, the insurance, the police, and my parents. I’ve learned my lesson (my car does now have a steering wheel lock, and so much more)- just please agree it sucks.
The picture is of Nephew grabbing Lanay’s hair. I just love him so much. He makes each day better.
I’m writing this blog because one of my closest’s friends is pregnant through IVF. I can’t even imagine the intense emotions this brings to a person/ family, but I DO KNOW THERE ARE NOT A LOT OF POSTS FOR PEOPLE SUPPORTING FRIENDS GOING THROUGH IVF! Why? I Google everything (except how to clean a fish tank…), and when I looked for some friendship stuff for IVF… NOTHING. Thanks internet.
Anyway, there’s not the perfect way to be a friend through IVF, but here are a few things I’ve learned/ done/ decided on…
- BE FLEXIBLE (and forgiving). Oh my gosh, they’re shooting themselves with hormone shots EVERYDAY. Who knows what kind of emotions they’re going through. Maybe you’ve made plans to meet up and last minute they cancel. GET OVER IT. THEY ARE LITERALLY TAKING SHOTS TO THE BUM. Enjoy the night off with no plans.
- THIS IS NOT THE TIME TO INTERJECT WITH YOUR BELIEFS ON IVF. Agree or disagree, your friend is doing it. They’ve thought about it. They don’t need you to tell them about the science/ religious beliefs behind your ideology. (For the record, I love Jesus, and I think whatever way you decide to start a family is the way YOU decide to start a family.) This is also not the time to talk about IVF behind their back with other friends. Ugh, stop it already.
- Don’t share their news, and don’t assume all their friends know (whoops). Don’t share they’ve decided to undergo IVF, that’s their news/ decision. Don’t share they’re pregnant. Let them have that. If people complain that she’s never around anymore or not being herself; stand up for your friend without telling everyone what she’s going through.
- Remember when BE FLEXIBLE was #1? It’s also kind of #3. When plans get canceled, maybe take a meal over instead, or the next day. Your friend has to rest a lot, and maybe could use some help meal prepping. Or send flowers. Seriously, just get them a “just because” present. They deserve it. (Shots… everyday. No.)
- IVF doesn’t always work. In fact, statistically, it’s not a very high percentage. So be prepared for it to not… that means being there and still loving on your friend. They’ve just put their body through X amount of months of torturous doctor appointments and spent X amount of dollars in hopes of having a baby. Let them know that you’re there if they WANT to talk, or not. Take them on a spa day. I didn’t buy any baby specific gifts until my friend was 3 months pregnant…
- I DID make a big deal after the ‘procedure,’ (idk what the best thing to say is…) was done. She couldn’t do a lot for a few days, but I brought over dinner (+dessert, be real here), got her a friendship necklace and wrote a note about how amazing she is, and how Albuquerque and my life wouldn’t be the same without her. I also put that I’m so excited for her and her hubs to start a family, and that sentimental jazz too.
- When your friendship group all knows you’re doing IVF, and you’re pregnant, sometimes the pregnancy isn’t celebrated as much. Yeah, we all were praying for you when you got your procedure done. We know the egg is in there… we know you picked the gender… so parents don’t really get to announce their pregnancy in a ‘cute way.’ In my opinion, this SUCKS. So when 3 months hit, and she was still pregnant, I bought some baby clothes and just celebrated with them! Celebrate the baby!
- IVF pregnancies can be scary- scary in that they’re more high-risk (in my mind, no medical degree here). My friend has had some heavy bleeding scares lately and can’t do any activities really. Send encouraging texts, let them know they’re in your thoughts & prayers, offer to bring food, order food in for them, send a greetabl (guys I love greetabl), ask about the baby/ pregnancy, but don’t be pushy (this should go for all babies/ preggo ladies).
- DO continuously pray for the baby/ momma/ daddy/ pregnancy.
- THROW THEM A SHOWER. OMG. Why is this even a question/ option?!?!
I’m very fortunate to have friends who are going to be amazing parents. I’ve very fortunate that they’re 5 months pregnant and Baby S is healthy. I’m very fortunate that they’ve decided to share this part of their life with me. I’m very fortunate that when there are scares, I know about them and can love on the couple and pray for them. I’m very fortunate that I get to be in this baby’s life and have another cute ‘nephew’ to hold.
Baby S, YOU ARE SO LOVED. Please stop scaring your parents & me, those two are too amazing to be going through all your scares! I’m praying for you now, and I’ll pray for you for always.
February can’t come soon enough. Fingers crossed you’re cute. ; )
60 Reasons I Love My Mom is probably (jk, it definitely it is) my most popular blog post. Not wanting to leave Dad out, and since his birthday was October 1st I put together a list of reasons why Dad is awesome too (even though he’s older than 60, I only did 60 reasons… you know equality and all)!
- You smell like coffee (I think this is why I immediately liked coffee).
- Every time I get into an accident (sorry! I am a terrible driver.) you make me feel not like shit for getting into another accident. Once, on my way up the coast to you for Easter, I got into a fender bender… and you told me to turn around, go home, get some chocolate, a bottle of wine, and just sit on the beach and relax.
- You genuinely care how my day/ week/ month/ year is going.
- You pick up my phone calls… even when you know they’re just going to be ‘nothing calls.’
- You understand my need for social time, but most importantly you understand my need for alone time.
- One time (and I’m sure you’d do it again), I was going to miss out on a Disneyland trip with Gayle and a few friends because I was working an unpaid internship in California and had $0.00 in my bank account for fun… and magically the next day I had enough money for Disneyland, 2 churros, and lunch in my account. ❤ Dad Magic.
- You told me therapy is ok.
- You’ve made me question religion, church, and Jesus so much… therefore strengthening my relationship with Christ and making it my own. Thank you.
- Growing up, my place in the pew at church was next to you. I did this so when I feel asleep I could rest my head on your shoulder (also sorry for falling asleep in church).
- Oh my gosh, if Youtube gave awards for people who loved Youtube, you’d win one.
- Our politics are pretty different (not extremely, but just enough). Even though we see the world and people through different lenses, you listen to my views and challenge them.
- Wine. Thanks for expanding my knowledge of wine, good wine.
- Everyone likes you. Even if you don’t like everyone.
- You know that mom is right, even when she’s not, she is. I’ve learned that instead of arguing with her, just to try it out her way… and if that doesn’t work at least you tried.
- You’ve supported my travel- even when I’ve known you’d rather not. I’ll bet you question why your daughters don’t visit England, but instead Iraq… or Guatemala instead of Italy… you know why? But instead of make us pick the choices you would make, you let us make our own.
- You love my dog. Maybe not love her, but you love me and I love her… so you love her.
- Beer. Drink good beer. Have good conversation.
- Having a tiger mom is/was hard sometimes, having a dad who balances that out is pretty nice.
- I’ve seen you cry twice (and it’s ok to cry). Once when your dad passed, and once when our family dog, Duchess, died. I don’t think you cried (or let tears escape your face) because a dog died. I think you cried because I was inconsolable. It was my decision to put her down (she was so old guys, and not enjoying life), and you came with me to the vet, and let me make the choice to hold her while dying. I know you’ve probably worried about how attached I get to animals (even the imaginary ones), but thank you for letting me grieve and for feeling my hurt.
- You drive fast.
- You read to us as children. We saw you reading. I love to read. I don’t think this is a coincidence.
- You worked hard, in a job that you didn’t love. You did this so your family could have nice things. Thank you.
- You enrolled me in etiquette classes and made sure I could successfully dine with the Queen, if need be.
- When you weren’t working, you were a present father. You went on field trips, cooked for us, and showed up.
- You let me believe that Santa is real, even if this means going to Walgreen’s on Christmas Eve so you can get things to fill up my stocking.
- You are patient.
- You love your family even though we are a bunch of weirdos.
- My relationship with you is ours. You, hardly ever, make me feel like the “in-between.” I don’t really have to relay information to my sisters from you. That’s nice.
- For some reason you carry a handkerchief, and that’s nice when I need to blow my nose. (Also kind of gross.)
- Your food = my food.
- I know that when/ if I get married, my husband will be your favorite son-in-law. It’s just a fact.
- Through you I now know that just because someone doesn’t call or write doesn’t mean they don’t care. That’s just not how they roll. (my sister is so your daughter.)
- You taught me how to drive. Maybe not one of our best experiences. I was definitely the most difficult daughter to teach to drive, but you did it. WE DID IT!
- You taught me how to change my tire,
- how to jump a car,
- how to change my oil (and why it’s so much easier just to take it to the car place),
- how to check my tire pressure,
- how to add coolant,
- and why all car-owners should know how to to do these things.
- You’re shown me that when you invite people out, you pay for them (within reason).
- On family vacations, you drove a lot. A lot. And when everyone else fell asleep, you’d answer all my questions about the world.
- My friends considered you a dad… even if you could never remember their names. I think they just loved having someone interested in what we were doing.
- Your humor is terrible. I mean it’s funny, but it’s so sarcastic.It’s terrible funny. You know what else is terrible… that’s my humor now too.
- You have 3 daughters who are all SO different, and you love us each so differently to illustrate that we are individuals and each important to you.
- You can talk to anyone. Sometimes this annoys Mom… you know when you’re talking to the repair man, and learning he went to school in Ukraine, and all about his life there…and he’s charging us by the hour.
- You make it VERY clear that it’s not our money, it’s your money (and mom’s). AKA you have to work for what you want, it’s not owed to you.
- Growing up, you prayed with us every night.
- Even though you’ve missed a lot of my birthdays growing up, you bought me Dolce dog to make up for it. #bestpresentever
- I have never thought I can’t do something because I’m a girl. You never put that on us.
- One time, in high school, you compared me to the UN. You said I was extremely diplomatic, and had a lot of potential. I don’t know why, but that has always stuck with me.
- A couple years ago when my job was eliminated, your advice to me was to grab some wine, relax by the pool, and just relax for a few days before starting the job search. These lessons of wine and water reminds me to not stress out! Life will be ok, and even if life will not be ok, just to take a moment to breath.
- You remember I’m allergic to strawberries.
- I can turn to you for advice- and even if you’re not an expert in the field, you’ll figure it out and get back to me. #whoevenknowswhatthestockmarketis?
- When you went away on business trips… you would bring us back little presents. Why did this stop?
- You lived a pretty cool life. From taking day hiking trips via planes to living in a million different places because of the Air Force…you’ve lived a pretty cool life.
- You love babies. I don’t know why, but a lot of people are impressed by how great you are with babies and kids. Shouldn’t all dads be?
- When I was little I accidentally watched a lot of 20/20 with you… and it freaked me the freak out what terrible things are going on in the world. You always talked to me as an equal, explained these tragedies to me, and then made me feel better about the world because of all the good in it.
- You support the companies I love. As right winged, conservative as you are, you still love the “love everyone” companies I’ve interned for… and you support them, follow them, and like everything they post on social media. #bestdadever
- You have a great smile, it’s just so comforting.
- You believe in me. I may not know where I’m going in life, or what my passions fully are, but I do know that I have support to take me there. Thank you.
***bonus 61*** You keep binoculars in your car. You say it’s for “whale/ dolphin/ boat watching, but I know where I get my love for ‘stalking’ people from.
obviously if I was a Middle Earth character, I’d be a hobbit. (also FYI, I am obsessed with Tolkien…) Here’s some of my reasoning on resonating with hobbits:
- I’m short. That automatically puts me in the category of dwarves/ halflings.
- Bare-feet is the way to go!
- 1st breakfast
- I’ll probably be an adult by the time I’m 30, right?
- I love getting & giving presents!
- 2nd breakfast
- Give me all the quiet time please!
- HOBBIT DWELLINGS = ❤
- afternoon tea
- Hobbits appreciate life, and relationships.
- They love to laugh!
- The Shire ❤
- For the most part, I like predictability in a day, but if a wizard showed up at my door, I’m in for the adventure!
* yes, I have a hobbit cloak…. and yes, I wore it out last Friday for Hobbit Day, where I celebrated with a pint of beer!
“Great things are done by a series of small things brought together.”
-Vincent Van Gogh
Sometimes life is overwhelming. What am I accomplishing? What major thing have I done today? Where is my life going? Am I helping anyone?
At my desk I have a notepad from Rifle Paper Co. with the above Van Gogh quote. I read this anywhere from once to a million times a day. It helps me clear my mind of the negative thought that I can’t do anything by myself.
All the small tasks I do throughout the day are great, because together all those monotonous, seemingly meaningless tasks build together to make something great. Sometimes the great thing isn’t great in anyone else’s eyes but mine (I do like crossing off the to-do lists- that in itself is a great and amazing thing).
Having cute desk supplies with quotes/ scripture is not only visually appealing to me, but also a great way to sit and think about Truth; and to diminish the lies that one, small person can’t do something great.
What’s on your to-do list of greatness?
It’s been a whirlwind of a summer: from losing my job to gaining a brother-in-law to getting a new job! Right before Gayle’s wedding I was offered a job, and then a week after her wedding I started it. 🙂 Talk about God’s perfect timing- just enough time to plan and focus on her wedding, and then time to recover and spend with family after.
When people ask me what my dream career would be, I have no answer except that I want to be able to share hope. My prayer has always been that this new job God has for me would be one where I can leave at the end of the day knowing I had helped someone. UGH, sometimes I am so crazy happy about how good to me God is (I know, I should always be, but sometimes it’s just way way way more than others). My new job is program assistant at Make A Wish NM- which means I get to help coordinate wishes! LIKE A GENIE (also FYI my car’s name is genie, so this is just an all around cool thing).
I’m only on day 2 at Make A Wish NM, but I love love love it. My new coworkers are so sweet and encouraging *(then again, it’s day 2). We had cupcakes and Starbucks on my first day as a welcome (they know the way to my heart). I left yesterday and today feeling that (even though I’m only still in training) good was done, hope was received, and encouragement spread. Naive and a little ‘Kimmy Schmidt‘ of me? Maybe. Even if that’s such a sunshine and bullshit way of thinking, I truly believe it. I am still in awe that I am a part of such an outstanding organization.
Things that turned me on to the organization:
So if anything changes about how much I love Make A Wish NM, I will let you know. Until that point though, assume I am enamored with it and that work is going great. ❤