When Your Body Fails You…

Are you the type of person that always has to sandwich a negative comment with like 1,000,000 nice things. I am. I think it’s my Pollyanna positivity that kills me sometimes. 😉 SO with that being said, let me just say that I love my body. I am so thankful to have it. BUT I hate it. I cannot count the number of times I have fainted. Thankfully I always know when it’s about to happen (prodrome for the win). I can usually control this by making sure I take my iron (anemia. whoop whoop.), not staying in heat too long (saunas included), and drinking lots of water. I’m so great at this that I haven’t passed out for like 1.5 years, and before that 3 years.

bike

This weekend I biked to breakfast with a friend — something I’ve done so many times. So cute, right? Well I would have had photos, but halfway there I started feeling lightheaded. Then dizzy. And then I remembered, oh poop dummy, when was the last time you took iron? I was on my period. I hadn’t eaten that day. I probably didn’t drink enough water. It was hot(ish) out. THERE WAS SO MUCH INCLINE. So I yelled out to my friend that I was going to pull over on the road and sit in the shade. I didn’t even have the strength to prop the bike up. I just let it fall to the ground as I sat, then laid back on the gravel.

My poor, sweet Honey Boo-Boo friend (Sarah) was so kind. She got my water bottle out and made sure I drank it all. She propped the bike up and stood over me to make sure I had shade. She devised alternate plans so we wouldn’t have to bike home. But I insisted I would be fine after a few minutes of just being still and letting the blood reach my head.

So we did that. After like 10 minutes, I got up and biked the 4 more blocks to the restaurant. Like an idiot.

I couldn’t stand long enough to lock the bike up to the rack. Dang I have amazing friends- so good to me during my body fails. We went into the restaurant, with Sarah’s urging, I immediately sat down. She filled my water bottle. And then I passed out.

THANK THE GOOD LORD, no one saw me except for Sarah and the nice, nice server. Because let’s be honest, the worst part of this really is making a scene/ being noticed. IT’S SO EMBARRASSING! Basically I feel like my body has announced to the world, “hey guys, I can’t make it up a hill on a bike,” or “I can’t bike a mile without being gassed,” or “you can handle this heat, but not me, not this girl!” And then I feel the need to remind/ inform people that I’ve biked 30 miles with no problem. I’ve hiked the La Luz Trail like 7 times. I’ve climbed the third-highest peak in South Korea (which was only a 5’er… lol). But when my body fails I feel the need to sing of all her accomplishments. Dang, pride is a real bitch.

Anyway… I passed out. They called 911. I came to. I canceled the 911 call (because, really, what are they going to do. IV me? I can drink my own water, thank you very much). I sat there. I asked Sarah for more water  in my bottle and a lemon. I meant for the lemon to be eaten for electrolyte replenishment, but Sarah thought I was just being extra and put it in my bottle. LOL. She really is the best.

Sarah then ordered at the counter for us, but kept checking back to make sure I was ok. I was fine, except I didn’t want to get up across the table to get my bag/ phone… so I sat there bored for 10 minutes. I mean, the travesty, right?

We ate. I got a ride home. Sarah checked in one me a few times via text to make sure I was ok. I kept telling her I was fine.

I started getting frustrated that she was so persistent and worried. I didn’t even think to put myself in her shoes and how scary that experience must have been! I mean, I’ve lived through it so many times. I know how to recover. She doesn’t! She’s never seen it! What was just an embarrassing blip to me, was a traumatic experience for her. What I viewed as my body failing, she was viewing as her friend in trouble. When I kept apologizing, she constantly reassured me that it wasn’t my fault. Friends like that are the best.

When your body fails, let others (literally and figuratively) hold you up.*

*Unless you need to lie down. Then do that….don’t let them touch you! lol.

 

 

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