These last few weeks I’ve found it so difficult to want to journal. Each time I do I reread what was written and just feel so gross. It’s, like, get over your pity party girl.
The past few weeks have not been kind to my body. I went to Florida on the 19th of December, where I succumbed to bronchitis (luckily I got a few good fun days in with the nephew and fam before the body aches hit). Right after bronchitis I got the flu and intense sinus pressure. Flying back home with that sinus pressure was a real treat (note the hard sarcasm). It’s been almost 2 weeks home, and my ears and head pressure still haven’t popped. My hearing is off, and the headaches are constant.
I HATE COMPLAINING, but I’m the biggest baby when I’m sick, and I’m just so ready to kick whatever is lingering and finally celebrate being in the new year.
If there’s one big thing I’ve learned coming out of this funk, it’s social media LIES. When my friends/ coworkers saw me after the holidays they all thought I had a great break because I only posted photos that illustrated happiness and life. In person, I was a hot-mess (minus the hot… just a mess). On Christmas I posted a photo of a wreath that I had taken weeks before… because in reality on Christmas I was alone (my fam went to Disney World… don’t go to Disney World on Christmas Day). I guess I wasn’t alone on Christmas- I had Dayquil, throat lozenges, chloraseptic spray, Friends, and so many tissues (so many tissues) to keep me company.
I posted pics of our family photo session where I’m smiling like a fool… you think I’m happy? Oh no… my poor family had to be near my grumpy, oozing self. I kept reminding them how sick I was and how appreciative they should be that I even tried. How annoying! But social media doesn’t tell you that.
My social media doesn’t tell you that my gas tank light is on, or that I overslept (again), or that ‘candid photo’ is 1/10(or 100) on my camera roll..
And you know what? I think that’s ok. I think it’s ok that I’m only putting pretty pictures on my feed. I think it’s ok to share only the good with acquaintances, strangers, and friends. I think it’s ok as long as we remember that this is what everyone is doing. To not compare our fake versions of perfection with someone else’s. And to be REAL (like reveal your heart and soul real) with your kindred-spirit type friends.
I think it’s ok to share the perfect and beautiful on social media (because sometimes life really is that picturesque), only if we’re willing to share the ugly and real with people in real life (and hey, maybe throw a #reallife post in your social media too).
So I’m not really into making resolutions, but my intention this year is to be more real while writing, and being ok with it not sounding like I’m living my most Instagrammable life. 😉
(also to get better- goodbye sore throats, goodbye ear/head pressure, goodbye snotty nose, goodbye weak cough…please never come back.)