She Reads Truth | Matthew 17 & 18

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Do you ever read the Bible and think that the disciples were scaredy-cats or just plain dumb? I do. LOL. But then when I re-read and really think about how I would react, I realize that’s probably exactly how I would react! Ummm yes, if I was hiking and a bright, cloud started talking to me, NO MATTER WHAT IT SAID, I would be freaking out in fear/ confusion. FREAKING OUT. But also, how sweet to have the comfort of Jesus saying to not have fear and to get up. I just imagine being pee-your-pants afraid, and at the sound of his voice just being enveloped in warmth, and safety. I have to remember this (a lot) when I’m nervous- and you know what? Sometimes I actually feel the warmth.

Also when you think of the disciples, it’s like… they had a lot of faith (AND got to witness the signs of Christ… so I mean, they should have been ballin’ in the trusting the Lord department). They were doing a lot in the name of the Lord. A lot. BUT yet still, their faith wasn’t the comparable to the mustard seed. DANG. What’s mine comparable to? Like a speck of sand?

When I read the stories of Jesus, I’m encouraged that we, truly are made in the image of God. And also the freedom that THERE IS NO WAY WE WILL EVER BE GOD. We may have the mercy capacity to forgive a friend, a co-worker, a sibling 7 times for the same grievance, but 77? Oh no way- there is no way. I can’t do 77 without the Spirit. I can’t move mountains without God. I can’t get to heaven without Jesus.

As much as a control freak as I can be, there is such peace knowing that God’s love and unending forgiveness is free- and because of  this I am no longer a slave to the “can’ts” in life.

Also, if you haven’t checked out She Reads Truth… do it. Such a great resource.

 

 

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#auntlifeisthebestlife

guys, aunt life is the best life. for real.

I never, ever thought I would say this or feel this way, but these two boys are my heart- I’ve never prayed more for two humans in my life. For them to love God, to never know a life apart from the grace of Jesus… that they’re motivated, healthy, smart, funny, seen, loved and loving, … I pray for their present, for their future, for any hurt they ever experience to be given to the Lord. Ugh, these two.

And honestly, as obsessed as I am: children are exhausting. As much as I love them, hanging out with them reeeeealllly wears a person out. THEY HAVE SO MUCH ENERGY. THEY MOVE SO MUCH. How do parents do this 24/7? TRUE HEROS.

That’s probably the best part of aunt life. 😉 I can go home; reenergize and come back when I want to. (#selfishbuthappy) It’s been such a gift from God to be an aunt. He knows my hurt from not being at a place in life to have a child of my own, so He’s given me so many opportunities to love on the kids in my life.

 

What a blessing it is to see these two crazies grow up. I don’t love that they’re going to grow up in different states/ countries, but that’s only because I want them to both be near me always and forever. ❤

is it 2019 yet?

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These last few weeks I’ve found it so difficult to want to journal. Each time I do I reread what was written and just feel so gross. It’s, like, get over your pity party girl.

The past few weeks have not been kind to my body. I went to Florida on the 19th of December, where I succumbed to bronchitis (luckily I got a few good fun days in with the nephew and fam before the body aches hit). Right after bronchitis I got the flu and intense sinus pressure. Flying back home with that sinus pressure was a real treat (note the hard sarcasm). It’s been almost 2 weeks home, and my ears and head pressure still haven’t popped. My hearing is off, and the headaches are constant.

I HATE COMPLAINING, but I’m the biggest baby when I’m sick, and I’m just so ready to kick whatever is lingering and finally celebrate being in the new year.

If there’s one big thing I’ve learned coming out of this funk, it’s social media LIES. When my friends/ coworkers saw me after the holidays they all thought I had a great break because I only posted photos that illustrated happiness and life. In person, I was a hot-mess (minus the hot… just a mess). On Christmas I posted a photo of a wreath that I had taken weeks before… because in reality on Christmas I was alone (my fam went to Disney World… don’t go to Disney World on Christmas Day). I guess I wasn’t alone on Christmas- I had Dayquil, throat lozenges, chloraseptic spray, Friends, and so many tissues (so many tissues) to keep me company.

I posted pics of our family photo session where I’m smiling like a fool… you think I’m happy? Oh no… my poor family had to be near my grumpy, oozing self. I kept reminding them how sick I was and how appreciative they should be that I even tried. How annoying! But social media doesn’t tell you that.

My social media doesn’t tell you that my gas tank light is on, or that I overslept (again), or that ‘candid photo’ is 1/10(or 100) on my camera roll..

And you know what? I think that’s ok. I think it’s ok that I’m only putting pretty pictures on my feed. I think it’s ok to share only the good with acquaintances, strangers, and friends. I think it’s ok as long as we remember that this is what everyone is doing. To not compare our fake versions of perfection with someone else’s. And to be REAL (like reveal your heart and soul real) with your kindred-spirit type friends.

I think it’s ok to share the perfect and beautiful on social media (because sometimes life really is that picturesque), only if we’re willing to share the ugly and real with people in real life (and hey, maybe throw a #reallife post in your social media too).

So I’m not really into making resolutions, but my intention this year is to be more real while writing, and being ok with it not sounding like I’m living my most Instagrammable life. 😉

(also to get better- goodbye sore throats, goodbye ear/head pressure, goodbye snotty nose, goodbye weak cough…please never come back.)