Dear Alien Parasite Baby,

(*obviously not seriously calling a baby an alien parasite, but if you think about it, they kind of are…)


dear baby,

you are inside my sister right now. how incredibly strange is that? my sister who i grew up playing barbies with now has a little gummy bear sized human in her (yeah, those baby apps compare you to veggies/ fruits, but candy is so much better. that’s something i’ll unfortunately teach you when you’re old enough). so weird. so weird, and so lovely.

i just want you to know how loved you are. you are so loved. i just can’t even express that enough.

you didn’t make the cut to be the first born grandchild, so sorry about that. Nephew is definitely always going to be that. but if you could be a healthy girl, i would really love that. as much as i adore Nephew, and sending him boxes of cute little boy clothes, and fun toys- i just really want to play dress-up, tea parties….and barbies. i want to play barbies with you just like i played with  your mom. i would like that. (also if you’re a boy who’s in to barbies, that’s cool too.)

also, if you could stop making your mom so sick, that would be ideal. but if it’s an either/or situation…we all would like you to be healthy and strong. so if that means she has to deal with being bed-ridden and nauseous for the next 6 months… we’ll take it.  (although she’s a miserable sick person.)

speaking about your mom, there are a few things you should know about your parents…

-they’re crazy weird.

-they love Jesus

-they’re frugal in some ways, and not in others (i still don’t understand what they’re willing to spend money on, and what they’re not. but know this, if you really want something ask grandma & grandpa…or me)

-your parents tricked me into liking they were together. friends before dating. do that.

-your dad went through some phases- Permtrick, Fittrick, ect

-in the past, your mother dressed better than me. i don’t know when that switched, or how that happened. her fashion sense is still stronger, but she just doesn’t care on most days. that’s a good quality.

-your mom’s nicknames include Vanessa and Fushana

-they love you

-like a lot

you’re probably going to end up with a really cool hipster, presidential name. fingers crossed you’re cute. you will be annoyed by me, probably a million times before your 5th birthday. just know, it’s because you are loved.


Emo E (the best title a person can hold)



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