The Fish’s Death

I murdered a fish. I didn’t mean to though, I mean it’s not like I went fishing and KILLED a fish. No, this was an accidental murder.

If you’ve ever been so lucky to have me as your house-sitter, you know my motto is to leave the house cleaner than you found it. Who wouldn’t want me to watch their house?

Well, one time I was watching a house, whose owners I adore (and if they ever read this… I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry.), and their fish tank looked DIRTY. Being the sweet person I am, I thought to myself, “Liz you’ve never cleaned a fish tank before, but the family cannot come home to a dirty tank. Also this fish must be miserable being in this gross tank. You will clean it.”

So I just started cleaning the tank. I don’t remember my thought process on this, but I do know I didn’t Google it. Me. The girl who Googles everything before doing anything or talking to anyone. I didn’t research it. WHY DIDN’T I GOOGLE HOW TO CLEAN A TANK?! WHY?!

I lifted the filter, with the large fish still in the tank… and gunk, goop, and grossness came pouring out. Out into the already dirty water. The water where the fish still was. I freaked out. FREAKED THE FREAK OUT.

I immediately typed into my phone how to clean a fish tank. (A little too late Liz, a little too late.) Guess what, you’re supposed to take the fish out of the tank before cleaning it. I then took the fish out. Genius move. I cleaned the tank to the best of my ability, which wasn’t very good.

After cleaning the disgusting tank (remember, all the gunk in the filter had come out and moved ALL over the 40 gallon tank, settled on the bottom under the tiny rocks, in-between crevices, just everywhere. Also, I couldn’t lift the tank (it was heavy. I am weak.), so basically I half-assed the cleaning job after poisoning the fish.

I put the fish back in the tank. I left the house to have a drink with a friend. I came back to the house… the house smelled LIKE DEATH. I refused to look at the tank, and then went to bed. When I woke up the next morning, the house still smelled like death. Guess why? BECAUSE THE FISH EFFING DIED IN THE GROSS WATER.

Fish are supposed to float when dead, right? THIS ONE DIDN’T. Guess whose arms don’t reach the bottom of the tank! (ME!) Also guess who refused to put her bare arms in the tank! (Me again!) AND guess what fish net didn’t reach the poor, gross, dead fish! (The only one I could find!) What’s a girl to do?

I’ll tell you. (Dear sweet Hammer family, please stop reading.) You use the plastic sleeves newspapers come in, wrap your arms in them twice, go to the kitchen (seriously, if you know the Hammers, please never tell them this), grab the longest tongs you can find, get a plastic Ziploc, and go get that fish out. (And then I stuck it in the freezer). You then freak out, call the family to let them know their fish died (and who knows why it did…), and ask them what to do with it. Their suggestion- just throw it away outside in the trash bin. (*I also boiled the tongs after that for sanitation.)

I then tried my hardest to really clean the fish tank. I mean after all, I’m a good house sitter.


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